My husband hates alcohol. He despises not just alcoholics, but even people who drink occasionally. He calls them ‘losers’. That includes me too…
He knew I drank long before we married. We were good friends and we got married two years ago.
Things changed overnight. I was not allowed a drop of alcohol. I hated being controlled, we fought and the fight went on. As you might have guessed, along with alcohol control would come clothes/guy friends controls. Somehow the guy friends, I didn’t mind. I had expected it, and anyway most guys kept a distance once I got married. The clothes control was expected, still it bugged me. The alcohol control was totally unexpected.
I am from a family where everyone drinks socially. It is an absolutely normal thing to do and we are all pretty decent people even under the influence of alcohol. Husband thinks alcohol brings out the worst in everyone. That alcohol makes people want to jump into bed with the next available person or fall drunk along the roadside.
We moved to Europe for a year. He began relaxing, slowly but visibly. I wore shorts one sunny day and he realized that, nobody was gawking at me. I wore a deep necked top. Nobody was making lewd comments about me. We went to friends’ homes for dinner, drank wine. There was no ruckus and dinner was a pleasant affair. Went back home for a good night’s sleep.
He began slowly accepting that things outside his ultra-conservative thought process can be normal. The freedom and hassle free life of Europe has helped. I have total freedom with clothes. He still doesn’t drink, says he hates alcohol, but doesn’t restrict me in any way. (Don’t know how things will be once we move back to India, fingers crossed.)